Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2007 04:33:44 -0400
From: #####
To: John Joseph Bachir
Subject: Re: your hair care lesson of the day


This e-mail is not what you bargained for, but you still have to answer
insightfully.

I'm semi-graduating. It sucks bc I'm taking all of these classes and the
only way that I know I like them is that I wish I were doing work for one
class when I'm doing work for another. This applies fairly equally to all of
them. I actually won't be graduating officially until next fall bc I'm
taking my last semester abroad in Berlin, but I have to finish all of my
credits before I go. Well, I say I'm going to Berlin, but the study abroad
lady, who is like a bazillion months pregnant and obviously hates her job,
keeps telling me I have more stuff to turn in, so we'll have to wait and see
how that turns out.

The house is fine. Truth be told, I'm really ready to peace out. I'm trying
to be sad that I won't be here anymore, bc I know I'll miss it and it's
going to be a huge life change (that I am not at all prepared for) when I
move out and am done with ch forever. I don't really feel connected with my
roommates at all anymore, though, so it's hard to feel like I'm leaving
something behind when there's nothing there to begin with (anymore). I guess
I feel like I'm already gone, which is not good, because I think it means
that I am alienated/ alienate myself from my life and my surroundings. GAH.
Being a valid, functional member of society is not easy, and I think that I
deserve credit for even trying.

Anyway, I wouldn't know how Franklin St. is. I've become one of those people
I was friends with as a freshman/ sophomore, but I rarely hear from anymore
bc they feel guilty when they're not (trying to) do work bc they're trying
to be valid. People are dropping into validity left and right. Maybe that
means that I should join them, but maybe that means that they are weak. I
just don't know. My semester has been characterized by inner turmoil. Part
of me knows that I have to be valid. If I go with this, I just keep trying
to be valid, and do whatever I think is valid in any given situation. If I
come to a point in my life in which applying to grad school would be the
valid option, I apply to grad school. Another part of me knows that nothing,
not even academia, is valid, so why try? If I go with the latter I have two
options. 1- Screw everything. Possibly become an ex-patriot, in the manner
of Ernest Hemingway. Be impulsive at all times, bc there is no point in not
being impulsive. Or 2- If you can't beat them, join them. Get a silly little
job, doing silly little things. Have the sort of job that can allow me to do
a lot of the things I want to do in life, while still functioning within the
realm of validity.

For a while I was really into the linguistics research thing (props to you,
for getting me involved), but seriously, I really feel like everything that
is being done that I have seen is based on false premises. More importantly,
though, I don't see how it's helping. There are still people in the world
who voted for Bush bc he's hot and don't see the blood on their hands. There
are still people in the US whose lives suck too much for them to feel
involved in the political process. Maybe #1 is a cop out, though. I just
don't know. I can't talk to ##### anymore, bc she's ALWAYS trying to be valid,
and always trying to let me know that she's a very successful valid person.
It's really annoying. It's like we're competing in a game that I never
agreed to play.

At this point you may be wondering how I define valid. Valid is 1- logical
and (more importantly) 2- what everyone else deems to be logical. You can
see how these aren't always reconcilable. I'm going to Germany bc I hope I
will be calm there (maybe Berlin was the wrong choice . . . ) and figure out
where I want to go. You know, do a little values check. Use the new
surroundings and low stakes to figure out if what I think is important is
actually important. We'll see what I come up with.

Re: david bowie. You'd probably know better than I, how he is. We haven't
interacted in a while. I'm still jealous that he supposedly hit it with mick
jagger though. How's your life? What has db been telling you lately? Any
inner issues that I can help you out with or what?

love and kittens
#####